Missing Margaret

(Imagined conversation between Lian Kwen Fee and Margaret — Apologies for this blatant fake news)

It is the end of another steamy summer day in Berlin. As dusk envelops the city, an older Asian man is standing alone on the sidewalk of a quiet suburban street. His eyes are fixed on the corner apartment on the fifth floor of the building across the street.

The lights come on in the darkened apartment and an attractive older Eurasian lady appears at a window. As she prepares to draw the curtains shut, she glances down at the street and notices the Asian man gazing in her direction. She glares at him and disappears into her apartment. Soon, she reappears at the front entrance to the apartment building and storms across the street towards him. He starts to back away but she points a finger at him and declares quite loudly and sternly…

“Beweg dich nicht, du Idiot!”

“Huh?”

“Beweg dich nicht, du Idiot!”

“Sorry, I don’t speak German…”

“What are you doing here?”

“Nothing, I am just taking a walk.”

“Are you watching my apartment?”

“No…”

“Don’t lie. You have been staring at my apartment window for a week! Are you stalking me?”

“No, no, no, I’m just taking a walk.” He points to the intersection to his left, “I’d better be on my way — bye.” He turns to walk away.

“Don’t you dare walk away. Are you some kind of pervert?”

“Not really.” He tries to deflect her anger with a very misguided attempt at humour —  “But, there was a period of time when I was quite friendly with a black plastic bag…”

“What?”

“It’s a long story and there’s some fake news involved, lah.”

“Did you just say ‘lah’?”

“Did I?”

“Yes, you did. Are you Malaysian? You are aren’t you?”

He smiles sheepishly. She squints her eyes and closely examines his face. “Hey, you look kinda familiar.”

“No, I’m not…”

“Don’t contradict me! You know what, now that I come to think of it, you remind me of that tall pimply kid in Eusoff College…”

“I wasn’t that pimply…”

“So, it was you! How did you find me?”

“Actually, it was all Don’s fault — he did this online search and uncovered photos of you in your school band and on your Baha’i trip. He revived all these dormant feelings…”

A gasp escapes her as she raises her hands to cover her mouth. “You had feelings for me?” She suddenly appears confused and vulnerable. “I think I should go. Just stay away from me.” She turns abruptly and starts to cross the street back towards her apartment building.

“Margaret, please. Wait. Don’t go just yet,” he pleads as a tear moistens the corner of one eye. “I’m sorry…”

She turns and looks him squarely in the face. “Don’t you start Lian Kwen Fee!”

“You remember my name! How, come?”

“How do you think? I liked you but you never asked me out. I was heartbroken because I thought you were gay.”

“Gay? Aiyoh, what gave you that stupid idea? I was just too shy to approach you as you were so popular and beautiful.”

“I thought you and your roommate were an item. It was always ‘roommate this, roommate that’ plus all that time you guys spent together behind a closed door at night!”

“No, lah! We were just buddies from VI — how can you think that?” He pauses and gazes into her brown eyes, glistening in the light from a street lamp. “You had feelings for me too?”

“You men can be so stupid!! But, after all these years why did you have to stalk me here?”

“As I said earlier it was all Don’s fault — no, to be honest, it was me. I just wanted to know how you were after all these years. Just curious.”

“I’m doing fine. How about you?”

“I am mostly fine, I think. I teach a bunch of ungrateful millennials in Brunei and I do get lonely sometimes…”

“And the black plastic bag? I really want to know more about the black plastic bag.”

“Oh no, please, not the black plastic bag! You really don’t want to go there.” He shakes his head and chuckles.

She smiles at him for the first time and points to her apartment with her head, “Do you fancy a glass of wine? Why don’t you come up and meet the family?”

As she leads the way across the street back to her apartment, she sees him surreptitiously wiping his damp eyes on his shirt sleeve. She pretends not to notice.

She holds the door open for him, and as he passes, she gives him a playful smack on his bottom…